I was going on a second date with this guy I met through a mutual friend. Our first date had seemed fun, but we didn't spend a whole lot of time together, either. For our second date, he picked me up and took me to Chipotle. We started talking, and I soon found that he had planned on staying the night with me and driving home in the morning. 1. I was NOT okay with this. Um...second date, anyone? 2. He hadn't even asked me if he could do so! 3. I went back through my text messages, and there were NO messages I sent that could have sounded like I was inviting him to stay. I deferred the conversation and decided it was Future Me's problem.
On our drive back, he started belching. Now, I say belching because these were not "normal" burps (like someone should be burping ANY way on a first date!). He was full-on letting it all hang loose. After the third burp, I made the joking remark, "You're gross."
Me: "Um, the burping?"
Him: "Well, I just feel so comfortable with you."
Not okay, man. Gross. Anyway, we get back to my place and decide to watch a movie. In the middle of it, he decides to kiss me (which I have a problem with anyway, because it was Rock and Rolla - if he wanted a makeout movie, we should have watched "It's Complicated" or something equally uncomplicated
After the movie, we just sat and talked for a while. We were getting into a really good conversation, and I was just starting to think to myself, "Gee, maybe this guy isn't so bad. We are having a really good conversation," when all of a sudden, something I say reminds him of a song. So he quotes the song. Strange, but I can handle it. I just said something like, "Oh, okay." And then he sang the song. Sang it. No music around or anything. He just decided that in the middle of a conversation was an excellent time to serenade me with an AFI song I didn't even know about emo-type things. It was extremely weird, and he continued to do that off and on for the next hour or so.
By 1:00 am, I'd had enough. I'd been up since 7 am working, and then I had to deal with Crazy since pretty much when I got off work. It was time for him to leave. So I did what any person does when they have a crazy person in their house and want said crazy person to leave - I pretended to fall asleep. This did not work...he just kept on talking. My first thought was, "SERIOUSLY?!" So then I made the comment, "Well, I'm pretty tired..."
Him: "I see that."
Me: (fuming) "Are you going to go get a hotel or drive back home now?"
(He tries to kiss me)
Me: (dodges bad breath and the urge to strangle him simultaneously) "Are you going to answer my question?"
Me: "Yes to what?"
Him: "Yes, I'll answer your question."
Me: "OK. What's your answer?"
Him: "In time." (tries to kiss me)
Me: (screaming in his face) "Seriously! I'm tired, practically falling asleep. Would you please just make up your mind and tell me what you're doing now!?"
Him: "................I think I'll drive home."
Me: "K BYE."
He left, and needless to say, he did not get a goodbye kiss. The worst thing was, he thought the date WENT WELL. I had to break it off with him and explain (as nicely as I could) that the things he does are nowhere near the realm of normalcy.
Since then, I've had pretty normal dates. But now that I'm in a new city, I'm sure I'll go through a whole new bunch of crazies...so stay tuned!